Chronically ill parents

When a parent suffers from a chronic illness or disability, this has a serious impact on all family members. The worries and hardships put a strain on the parents - and the children suffer too. As a parent, you ask yourself how you can compensate for the restrictions in everyday life so that your child can still develop well.

Chronic diseases such as multiple sclerosis, rheumatism or cancer are associated with considerable stress in everyday life, often also with severe pain and mood swings for those affected. This makes parenting more difficult. The needs of the chronically ill or disabled parent often take center stage. Carefree family activities are rare, because even normal everyday life costs a lot of energy, the organizational effort is significantly higher, the mood in the family may be more tense or irritable.

In this situation, children often take on more household duties or look after younger siblings. This leaves little room for hobbies, their own interests and leisure activities with friends. Children of chronically ill parents also live with constant worry about their mother or father. Even small children are very sensitive to when something is wrong. Added to this is the constant fear that their health could deteriorate.

Such stress can be difficult for children in the long term, and they may withdraw or isolate themselves. They often hide their own problems and worries because they don't want to place an additional burden on their parents. The excessive demands can lead to anxiety, depressive moods and psychosomatic illnesses. The health risk increases if the illness of a parent overshadows family life for many years without the children receiving targeted support. The chronic illness or disability of a sibling can be similarly stressful for children, as they are under constant pressure to function so as not to place any more demands on the family.

If you or the other parent are affected by a chronic illness, you can do the following things in particular:

• Talk to your child about the illness, prognosis and treatment options in an age-appropriate way.

Discuss your own worries and fears with each other.

• Involve people you trust.
• Facilitate free time and independent activities for your child

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• Seek targeted support to relieve the stress of everyday family life
• Accept possible outside help to create space for positive family experiences.

To support families in which one parent is affected by a chronic illness or disability, the following support services are available:

• Supplementary independent participation advice (EUTB) supports people with disabilities and chronic illnesses. There are over 500 advice centers where you can get free advice. You can use the search engine on the website www.teilhabeberatung.de to find a suitable advice service in your area.
• The free "Participation advice" app provides you with information about forms of support and the option of requesting an appointment with an advice service. You can download the QR code for the app here:
• QR code for the app in the App Store (for iOS) [JPG, 4 KB]
• QR code for the app in the Google Play Store (for Android) [JPG, 4 KB]
• The professional association of disabled and chronically ill parents bbe e. V. is a self-help association and offers parent seminars, advice and contact mediation between disabled parents.
• The website www.einfach-teilhaben.de of the Federal Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs offers comprehensive information for people with disabilities and their relatives. You can reach the information hotline on 030 221 911006.