Teenage mothers

A baby in your arms at 14 or 15, while your friends and classmates are still doing their homework - for teenage mothers and fathers, adult life begins overnight. From one day to the next, they are faced with a situation in which they need real support. In North Rhine-Westphalia, the "Teenage Mothers" advice and support service offers help. Tanja Brückel from Mütterbüro NRW explains in an interview what makes the initiative special and how the expert network helps young parents.

Familienportal.NRW: The news of early parenthood often comes as a surprise. What does it mean for those affected once the initial shock has worn off?

Tanja Brückel: Some people are completely unprepared for pregnancy. The first question is often: "How am I going to manage this?" - accompanied by shame, fear and worry about the reactions of family and friends. Many come from difficult backgrounds, experience little support or have no supportive environment. And at the same time, seemingly unsolvable challenges pile up - after all, they are still children themselves. Suddenly their plans for the future, school-leaving qualifications, education, housing situation and finances are put to the test. There is often a lack of family support or pressure to decide between having a child and finishing school. Added to this are emotional burdens such as feelings of guilt and being overwhelmed.

How can teenage mothers and fathers be helped in this situation?

What underage parents need above all in this phase of life is someone who believes in them and encourages them. This can be an encouraging conversation, a joint visit to the authorities or simply the feeling: I'm not alone.

That's why we set up the "Teenage Mothers" expert network 20 years ago. In many municipalities in North Rhine-Westphalia, midwives, gynecologists, specialists from youth welfare offices, counselors from family education centers, pregnancy conflict and mother-child counseling centers - but also teachers - meet there. They work together on a voluntary basis, often out of personal concern, to help young parents.

How do these networks work locally?

The initial contact is often made via the gynecologist, sometimes also via the teachers. But regardless of who a teenage mother or father turns to, the people involved are well connected. Anyone who recognizes a need for support is brought together by the network of experts. They offer advice in many areas and help young mothers and fathers to deal with the new life situation and find their own way. These include:

• Individual discussions about pregnancy, birth and parenthood
• Help with finishing school or training
• Accompaniment to authorities
• Support with family discussions
• Group offers, in which young mothers and fathers can exchange ideas
• Support in finding accommodation
• Help in finding a daycare center
• Finding financial assistance (e.g. housing benefit, parental allowance, parental allowance)
• .e.g. housing benefit, parental allowance, child benefit)
• Access to youth and socio-educational family support

This network model plays a pioneering role nationwide. No other federal state offers comparable, comprehensive and voluntary support for underage parents.

What experiences have you had in the networks? Are there any support services that work particularly well?

The most effective is intergenerational self-help. Nowhere does help have such a lasting effect as in the immediate neighborhood. Connecting people with each other is crucial. Our most important message to local authorities is therefore: "Create places of encounter!"

As the representative body for mothers' centers in NRW, we support the establishment of municipal networks with our expertise and experience. However, the actual work takes place locally.

One example: Young and old meet at our mothers' centers. Someone says: "Kati can't do it alone." And Ilona replies: "I can see that too. I'll go there sometime." When the chemistry is right, the result is a win-win situation: Ilona, whose husband recently passed away, feels needed again - and Kati gets practical support and life experience.

How many of these regional networks are there in North Rhine-Westphalia?

In over 20 years of successful project work, more than 40 such regional expert networks have now been established in North Rhine-Westphalia. On our information platform www.teenagermuetter.de, we maintain an overview of all networks where those affected and their relatives can obtain information, tips and support.

These networks are essential to strengthen teenagers emotionally, socially and financially in their challenging situation. Professionals who would like to set up a network in their community or support local networking are welcome to help expand our services for young parents - on topics such as pregnancy and the time afterwards, pregnancy conflicts, school and training and much more. If you would like to find out more about the aims and opportunities to get involved, you can also find information on our website.

What personal message would you like to give to underage mothers and fathers who are faced with decisions about early parenthood?

My most important message is: "Have the courage to talk to someone about it!" Incidentally, this applies to all crisis situations in life. As soon as you open up, you can find solutions together. Our aim is always to inspire confidence: "Together we can do it!"

Tanja Brückel, thank you very much for talking to us!

(The interview was conducted in 2025)