Unplanned pregnancy

Sometimes a positive pregnancy test doesn't just bring pure joy. If the announcement of a baby bursts into life completely unplanned, the news can trigger fears about the future, uncertainty and despair. In this situation, couples and especially the women concerned are faced with far-reaching decisions.

You have a baby on the way, but your life plan just looked completely different:

• You feel too young or too old to have a child?
• You have personal or professional plans in which a place for a child seems unimaginable?
• You are in the middle of a relationship conflict or separation?
• You don't want to raise your child alone?
• Or you simply don't feel up to the responsibility for a child in the current situation?

There are many reasons why pregnancy can trigger rejection rather than joy. It is not uncommon for affected women to be plunged into an emotional chaos of severe conflict.

Accepting the rollercoaster of emotions and coming to terms with the new situation requires understanding and time. Talking to a trusted person, such as your best friend, can help to put your fears and worries into perspective. However, especially in difficult life situations, you sometimes need the expertise of a neutral person to help you decide what to do next.

Good to know: Every woman is entitled to advice on all matters relating to her pregnancy. Pregnant women should be free to decide to have a child.

The central help hotline 0800 40 40 020 can be a first point of contact.

In North Rhine-Westphalia, more than 200 state-approved pregnancy advice centres offer free advice. Here you will always find a sympathetic ear for a confidential and open-ended discussion on all aspects of pregnancy and possible conflicts.

Pregnancy advice centers offer advice and help on the following topics:

The pregnancy advice centers also provide unbureaucratic financial assistance from the Federal Foundation Mother and Child. You can download a leaflet about the Federal Foundation Mother and Child on this page download.

All consultations are confidential and can be anonymous if desired. You can find a counseling center near you on the website www.familienplanung.de by searching for the zip code or city name.

You can choose between counseling services offered by charities, churches, districts and municipalities. You are welcome to choose the service offered by the organization with which you feel most comfortable. Please note that not all counseling centers issue a counseling certificate for pregnancy conflict counseling because it is not in line with their self-image.

If you do not know whether you want to or can have the child and are considering an abortion, you will receive valuable support in pregnancy conflict counseling. You will not be alone with your worries and fears. Especially if you are in a quandary, perhaps even want children, but not now or not with this partner, experienced professionals can show you solutions without pressuring you. This makes personal decision-making easier.

If you are considering an abortion, you will also receive a so-called counseling certificate in accordance with the counseling regulations from the state-approved pregnancy conflict counseling centers after counseling. The counseling certificate is a prerequisite for a penalty-free abortion within twelve weeks of conception. However, this pregnancy conflict counselling may only be offered by state-recognized counselling centres and medical practices.

If you have decided to have an abortion, you need to consider where and how the abortion will be performed. The sources of information for women are still limited, as doctors in Germany are not allowed to publish whether they offer an abortion.

There are various methods for terminating a pregnancy. Which method is used depends, among other things, on how far advanced the pregnancy is. A distinction is made between medical and surgical methods. You should find out exactly which method your doctor or clinic offers beforehand.

Medical abortion is possible up to the 63rd day after the first day of the last menstrual period. In the case of a medical abortion, two or three visits to the doctor are necessary within approximately 14 days, including a follow-up examination.

The suction method and scraping are surgical methods. Both are usually performed on an outpatient basis in a clinic or doctor's surgery. After the procedure and a short rest period, you can go home. The surgical abortion can be performed under a short general anaesthetic or local anaesthetic.