FAQ on foster parenting: frequently asked questions

Many interested parties wonder whether the requirements are very high or difficult to meet. The good news: It's not about being perfect - it's about being suitable.

The path to becoming a foster parent in NRW is carefully planned so that both the child and you are well prepared. The process usually includes:

• a non-binding information meeting at the youth welfare office or the foster children's service of an independent organization,
• ensuring your suitability and preparation for the responsible task in several personal meetings,
• home visits,
• participation in preparatory seminars,
• submission of the necessary documents (e.g. certificate of good conduct, health certificates, etc.),
• and a visit to your home.

Specialists will work with you to check whether the task suits your life situation. At the same time, you also have time to consider whether you can imagine taking on this responsibility.

The process usually takes several months because the focus is on diligence and preparation. You will receive continuous support and advice from the specialists at the youth welfare office or foster care service.

Foster parents can be couples or individuals - married or unmarried, with or without children of their own.

Important requirements are:

• Emotional stability and resilience
• Time, patience and reliability
• Secured financial circumstances
• Sufficient living space
• Openness to cooperate with the youth welfare office
• Willingness to support contact with the family of origin

A foster child needs secure, approachable adults who can provide orientation and support. If you meet the above requirements, you have a good basis for becoming a foster parent

.

No. Pedagogical training is not a prerequisite. What is more important is life experience, resilience, empathy and openness to advice, support and further training.

There is no fixed age limit. What is important is an appropriate age gap to the child as well as health stability in order to accompany the foster child in the long term.

Yes - basically yes. During the application process, you will discuss with the youth welfare office or the foster care service of an independent organization which form of care suits your life situation. Your time resources, your family situation and your personal expectations play an important role here.

In North Rhine-Westphalia, there are different forms:

• Care on call: Short-term admission in acute crisis situations. The duration is usually unclear, sometimes only a few days, often several weeks or months.
• Short-term care: Temporary placement, for example during a family crisis.
• Permanent care: Long-term perspective - often until the child reaches the age of majority.

You decide in advance which form is conceivable for you. At the same time, the best interests of the child always take center stage. Sometimes situations develop differently than originally planned - then a sensible solution is sought together with all parties involved.

Yes, youth welfare offices and foster care services of independent organizations regularly offer further training, seminars and group offers for exchange.

This varies. Some families wait weeks after the preparation process, others several months or longer. The decisive factor is that the child and the foster family are a good match.

As long as the foster child is still very small, it does not need a separate children's room. Older foster children should generally have their own room to retreat to. All family members need opportunities to retreat.

Yes, foster children are part of the family and naturally take part in family activities and vacations.

Children are placed in a foster family if they are temporarily or permanently unable to live with their parents. Reasons may include:

• overburdened parents
• neglect or violence
• addiction problems
• mental illness
• severe family crises
• illness or death of one or both parents

The children often bring stressful experiences with them. This can manifest itself in insecurities in attachment behavior, developmental delays, emotional or social problems and conflicts of loyalty towards the biological parents.

This usually requires time and patience in the relationship work and can sometimes also involve challenging situations. At the same time, many foster parents experience how children build trust, blossom and develop new stability.

Foster parents are not left to face challenges alone: specialist advice from the youth welfare office or independent foster child welfare organization and accompanying support services are a matter of course at all stages of foster parenthood in North Rhine-Westphalia.

In many cases: yes. A foster child legally remains part of their family of origin and therefore has a right to contact with their parents. For this reason, it is usually agreed together with the youth welfare office, the parents of origin and the foster parents in the so-called help plan procedure whether and how contact will take place.

This can mean:

• accompanied or unaccompanied contact,
• regular meetings at set times,
• telephone or written contact.

Whether and to what extent direct contact takes place between the foster parents and the biological parents depends on the individual case. The aim is always to give the child stability while respecting their origins. Foster parents receive professional support during this process. They do not have to deal with difficult conversations or situations alone.

This concern is understandable - and it can be expressed.

Some children have difficulties building trust due to their experiences. Relationships take time. In such situations:

• foster parents receive intensive professional support,
• additional help (e.g. therapeutic support) can be organized,
• challenges are discussed together in the help plan process.

If, despite all the support, it becomes apparent that the constellation is not sustainable in the long term, a good solution for the child is sought together. The child's well-being is always the focus.

No one is left alone with difficulties. Foster parenting is a responsible task - but also an accompanied one.

In contrast to an adopted child, custody of a foster child is either wholly or partially vested in the parents of origin or the guardian or supplementary guardian.

Care parents are allowed to make everyday decisions, for example about leisure activities, hobbies, clothing, diet, school routine, friendships, visits to the doctor for common, minor illnesses, etc. However, decisions of major importance (choice of school, operations, travel, etc.) are the responsibility of the person with custody.

Yes, foster parents receive care allowance to cover living expenses such as food and clothing as well as an allowance in recognition of their child-raising work. There may also be additional benefits such as initial equipment or special needs, for example to cover school trips. However, the main motivation should be to give a child in a difficult life situation stability, security and new prospects.