Teenage mothers
"Together we can do it!"
An interview with Tanja Brückel from Mütterbüro NRW
A baby in your arms at 14 or 15, while your friends and classmates are still doing their homework - for teenage mothers and fathers, adult life begins overnight. From one day to the next, they are faced with a situation in which they need real support. In North Rhine-Westphalia, the experts from the "Teenage Mothers" network offer young parents advice and support.
Tanja Brückel: Some people are completely unprepared for pregnancy. The first question is often: "How am I going to manage this?" - accompanied by shame, fear and worry about the reactions of family and friends. Many come from difficult backgrounds, experience little support or have no supportive environment. And at the same time, seemingly unsolvable challenges pile up - after all, they are still children themselves. Suddenly their plans for the future, school-leaving qualifications, education, housing situation and finances are put to the test. There is often a lack of family support or pressure to decide between having a child and finishing school. Added to this are emotional burdens such as feelings of guilt and being overwhelmed.
What underage parents need above all in this phase of life is someone who believes in them and encourages them. This can be an encouraging conversation, a joint visit to the authorities or simply the feeling: I'm not alone.
That's why we set up the 'Teenage Mothers' expert network 20 years ago. In many municipalities in North Rhine-Westphalia, midwives, gynecologists, specialists from youth welfare offices, counselors from family education centers, pregnancy conflict and mother-child counseling centers - but also teachers - meet there. They work together on a voluntary basis, often out of personal concern, to help young parents.
The first contact is often made via the gynecologist, sometimes also via the teachers. But regardless of who a teenage mother or father turns to, the people involved are well connected. Anyone who recognizes a need for support is brought together by the network of experts. They offer advice in many areas and help young mothers and fathers to deal with the new life situation and find their own way. These include:
- Individual discussions about pregnancy, birth and parenthood
- Help with completing school or training
- Accompaniment to authorities
- Support with family discussions
- Group offers where young mothers and fathers can exchange ideas
- Support with finding accommodation
- Help with finding a daycare center
- Finding financial assistance (e.g. housing benefit, parental allowance, parental allowance, childcare). (e.g. housing benefit, parental allowance, child benefit)
- Access to youth and socio-educational family support
This network model is a pioneer in Germany. No other federal state offers comparable, comprehensive and voluntary support for underage parents.
Cross-generational self-help is the most effective. Nowhere does help have such a lasting effect as in the immediate neighborhood. Connecting people with each other is crucial. Our most important message to local authorities is therefore 'Create places of encounter!'
As the representative body for mothers' centers in NRW, we support the establishment of municipal networks with our expertise and experience. However, the actual work takes place locally.
One example: Young and old meet in our mothers' centers. Someone says: 'Kati can't do it alone'. And Ilona replies: 'I can see that too. I'll go there sometime. If the chemistry is right, it's a win-win situation: Ilona, whose husband recently passed away, feels needed again - and Kati gets practical support and life experience.
In over 20 years of successful project work, more than 40 such regional expert networks have now been established in North Rhine-Westphalia. On our information platform www.teenagermuetter.de, we maintain an overview of all networks where those affected and their relatives can get information, tips and support.
These networks are essential for empowering teenagers emotionally, socially and financially in their challenging situation. Professionals who would like to set up a network in their community or support local networking are welcome to help expand our services for young parents - on topics such as pregnancy and the time afterwards, pregnancy conflicts, school and training and much more. If you would like to find out more about the aims and opportunities to get involved, you can also find information on our website.
My most important message is: 'Have the courage to talk to someone about it! Incidentally, this applies to all crisis situations in life. As soon as you open up, you can find solutions together. Our aim is always to inspire confidence: 'Together we can do it!
About Tanja Brückel
Tanja Brückel is Managing Director of the Landesverband der Mütterzentren NRW e. V. The mothers' centers and open houses for young and old offer meeting places in the neighborhood. They connect people who would otherwise probably never have met. As a coordinating body, the Landesverband der Mütterzentren NRW e. V. also supports existing support networks for teenage mothers and helps new initiatives to get off the ground.
Where can I find help and advice?
- If you have questions about pregnancy, sexuality, partnership and parenthood or are in a conflict situation, you can find the right local point of contact via the Familienlotsen here on Familienportal.NRW.
- On the information platform www.teenagermuetter.de there is an overview of all networks where those affected and relatives can get information, tips and support.
- The youth welfare offices provide information on financial aid, mother-child homes, assisted living and child daycare options, among other things. You can use the Family Guide here on the Familienportal.NRW to find your local youth welfare office.
- Young men whose partner is pregnant can also get free advice and clarify important questions for them. The LAG Väterarbeit NRW provides contact persons and advice centers.
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