Moving Out at 16

During adolescence, there can be heated arguments between parents and their growing teenagers. This is completely normal. Discussions about curfews, media use, alcohol consumption, or their circle of friends are all part of the process of becoming independent. However, if living together as a family is no longer sustainable or the situation escalates completely, moving out of the family home may be considered. Here you’ll find information on possible solutions and counseling resources.

Sometimes it’s about controlling or interfering; other times, it’s about neglected schoolwork, excessive video game playing, or partying too hard on the weekends. More and more often, tempers flare, doors slam, and arguments grow louder and more intense. Conflicts between parents and children are not uncommon, and the examples mentioned are just a few of many that can lead to ongoing arguments. However, when anger and accusations escalate and become increasingly hurtful, the entire family situation comes under severe strain.

If positions have hardened and daily life together is heavily marked by conflict, moving out temporarily or permanently might be helpful. Gaining some distance from one another and leaving the disputes of everyday family life behind can create space to gradually grow closer again—or at least to work out solutions together for what a less conflict-ridden parent-child relationship might look like, whether under the same roof or not.

Minors aged 16 and older are allowed to move out, but only with their parents’ express consent. This quickly raises the question of how to finance the move. While the freedom-loving teenager may feel strong and independent enough to manage on their own, financially, the daughter or son is still dependent on their parents. Furthermore, adolescents are not yet fully legally competent until their 18th birthday. This means they need their parents’ signature for a lease and many other legal transactions. So the conflict isn’t so easy to resolve. Both sides need to carefully consider every next step, along with all the consequences.

Perhaps, before it comes to a permanent move out—which carries major financial and family consequences—there is a way to create some distance in a different way for the time being. For example, by temporarily moving in with a family of friends, an aunt, or the grandparents.

In this article on Familienportal.NRW, you’ll learn what your legal options are regarding children moving out.

If children want to move out against their parents’ wishes, the only way to do so is by going to the Youth Welfare Office. This is because teenagers cannot simply move out of their parents’ home. Parents have a duty of care, which includes the so-called right to determine their child’s place of residence.

Moving out is therefore only possible in an emergency. This exception may apply in particularly difficult family crises, for example, when the child’s well-being is at risk. In such cases, the Youth Welfare Office can obtain a ruling from the family court to revoke the parents’ right to determine the child’s place of residence.

This may be the case if the child is being neglected, is subjected to emotional abuse, or if there is physical violence, physical altercations, or fights within the family.

Typical conflicts between parents and children of this age—such as curfews, clothing, smoking, etc.—are not sufficient grounds for such a measure. In these cases, professional counseling can often help mediate between parents and children.