Boys/girls in puberty

When your uncomplicated and cheerful little daughter suddenly turns into an unbalanced teenager with bad moods and angry outbursts, a challenging time begins for you as parents. With puberty, moods change constantly. One minute they're jubilant, the next they may throw a tantrum that ends with doors banging and a retreat to the nursery. Is that still normal? Yes, it is. Don't be surprised if your daughter is constantly trying to act cool in front of her friends, but comes to cuddle up to you in an unobserved moment. The path to adulthood is characterized by many highs and lows. The ups and downs require one thing above all from parents: composure and lots of love.

• Girls often struggle with their new body image during puberty. The natural weight gain and increase in body curves often lead to rejection because the body now corresponds less to the female ideal of slimness in advertising. One reason why eating disorders such as anorexia are on the rise during puberty.
• The changes to the body awaken a new body cult in many girls: their interest in make-up and fashion grows. In their search for new role models, they mainly look to stars from the world of modeling, music and film. It is not uncommon for parents to be provoked by a provocative and body-conscious style of dress.
• Mothers in particular have a hard time during this time. They can rarely please their daughter, are just "embarrassing" and get involved in power struggles.
• During puberty, many teenagers are afraid of not being accepted by the group. Girls therefore constantly compare themselves with their friends. Owning status symbols such as expensive brand-name clothes or the latest smartphone gives the impression of being cool and being able to keep up. In reality, teenagers want to cover up their own insecurities.
  

Your son is no longer sticking to agreements and is suddenly acting macho? Are small and large power struggles alternating with deliberate transgressions? Stay calm: your son is on a difficult search for his identity. Many boys tend to overestimate themselves during puberty and overstep their boundaries at times. While they want to be recognized as adults on the one hand, they often behave childishly on the other. They demand all the freedom they can get, but still want to be mothered. These puberty conflicts are grueling, but an important step in the process of detachment from parents.

• Boys go through a rapid growth spurt during puberty, which makes them look lanky and awkward in the meantime. As the size of the larynx increases, boys start to break their voices. This is the case at around the age of 13.
• Boys rarely have a problem with their new body image. On the contrary: they benefit from the muscle growth during puberty. It makes them look "more masculine" and "stronger" and that goes down well with boys. However, many boys suffer from oily skin combined with spots and even acne.

Due to the significantly higher release of the male sex hormone testosterone, boys tend to test their strength during puberty, are more willing to take risks and sometimes display aggressive behavior. Playful and sporting competitions and the gym are particularly popular now. This is where boys can celebrate successes and triumphs. Defeats, on the other hand, are usually difficult for them to cope with.Boys also look for recognition and acceptance in their clique during puberty. Like girls, they try to cover up their inhibitions in the puberty phase with status symbols. Only it's usually something else, such as a bike, a motorcycle or games consoles and games.

Yes, it has indeed been statistically proven that boys have a significantly higher risk of accidents. They show a greater willingness to take risks, especially during puberty. Boys are particularly often involved in road traffic accidents. What's more, boys get into dangerous situations more often because they don't want to be a coward and sometimes lose their sense of proportion.

These tips can help make it easier to get through puberty with your children:

• Whether boy or girl: Your child now needs love, understanding and guidance above all else. Especially when the world threatens to collapse emotionally, it is the parents who can offer security.
• It is a constant balancing act between letting go and providing support, which you can use to support your child. Trust in your child's strengths and treat your daughter and son with kindness despite their sometimes difficult to bear moods.
• Don't be resentful if one or two reproaches offend you personally. Teenagers simply cannot control their emotions during puberty and react impulsively. Your child therefore doesn't mean many things the way they sound at first.

Define clear rules and boundaries despite growing freedom. Allow your child to rub up against you. This is important and is part of the detachment process on the way to adulthood.

• Above all: stay in contact with your child. Always offer to talk to them. Your daughter and son still need you, even if no teenager in the world would ever admit it. Even if your child refuses to talk to you several times, they should know that you are there when it matters.
• To get through this stressful time, it helps to remember your own puberty as a parent: do you remember how you felt back then? These thoughts will certainly help you to empathize with your child. And even if it hurts that your growing child is now increasingly going their own way, you should be happy about the newfound freedom as parents. This gives you room for your own plans and hobbies that you probably didn't have time for for many years.