Boys/Girls Going Through Puberty

When your easygoing and cheerful little daughter suddenly turns into an emotionally unstable teenager with terrible mood swings and angry outbursts, a challenging time begins for you as parents. During puberty, her moods fluctuate constantly. One moment she’s on cloud nine, and the next, a fit of rage can follow, ending with slamming doors and a retreat to her bedroom. Is this still normal? Yes, it is. Don’t be surprised if your daughter constantly acts extra cool in front of her friends but comes to cuddle with you when no one is watching. The journey into adulthood is marked by many ups and downs. These ups and downs require one thing above all from parents: composure and lots of love.

• During puberty, girls often struggle with their new body image. Natural weight gain and the development of curves often lead to self-rejection because their bodies now deviate from the female ideal of slimness portrayed in advertising. This is one reason why eating disorders such as anorexia increase during puberty. 
• These physical changes spark a new obsession with appearance in many girls: their interest in makeup and fashion grows. In their search for new role models, they look primarily to stars from the worlds of modeling, music, and film. It is not uncommon for them to provoke their parents with a provocative and body-hugging style of dress. 
• Mothers, in particular, have a hard time during this period. They can rarely please their daughters, are seen as nothing but “embarrassing,” and get caught up in power struggles. 
• During puberty, many teenagers are plagued by the fear of not being accepted by their peer group. That’s why girls constantly compare themselves to their friends. Owning status symbols like expensive brand-name clothing or the latest smartphone gives the impression of being cool and keeping up with the crowd. In reality, teenagers use these things to mask their own insecurities.
  

Is your son no longer sticking to agreements and suddenly acting like a macho? Are small and big power struggles alternating with deliberate boundary-crossing? Stay calm: Your son is on the difficult journey of discovering his identity. Many boys tend to overestimate themselves during puberty and occasionally cross the line. While on the one hand they want to be recognized as adults, on the other hand they often act childishly. They demand complete freedom but still want to be mothered. These adolescent conflicts are exhausting, but they’re an important step in the process of separating from their parents.

• Boys experience a rapid growth spurt during puberty, which can make them look lanky and awkward for a while. As their larynx grows, boys go through voice change. This typically happens around age 13.
• Boys rarely have a problem with their new body image. On the contrary: they benefit from the muscle growth that occurs during puberty. It makes them look “more masculine” and “stronger,” and that goes over well with boys. However, many boys suffer from oily skin combined with pimples and even acne.
• Due to the significantly higher levels of the male sex hormone testosterone, boys during puberty tend to engage in power struggles, are more willing to take risks, and sometimes exhibit aggressive behavior. Playful and athletic competitions, as well as the gym, are particularly popular at this time. Here, boys can celebrate successes and triumphs. Coping with defeat, on the other hand, is usually difficult for them.
• Boys, too, seek recognition and acceptance within their peer group during puberty. Similar to girls, they try to mask their inhibitions during puberty with status symbols. However, these are usually different—such as a bicycle, a motorcycle, or video game consoles and games.
  

Yes, it has in fact been statistically proven that boys have a significantly higher risk of accidents. They are more willing to take risks, especially during puberty. Boys are particularly prone to traffic accidents. In addition, boys find themselves in dangerous situations more often because they don’t want to be seen as cowards and sometimes lose sight of what’s reasonable.

These tips can help you navigate puberty more easily with your children:

• Whether your child is a boy or a girl, what they need most right now is love, understanding, and guidance. Especially when their world feels like it’s about to fall apart emotionally, it’s the parents who can provide a sense of security. 
• It’s a constant balancing act between letting go and providing support—and that’s how you can help your child. Trust in your child’s strengths and treat your daughter and son with kindness, even when their mood swings are sometimes hard to bear. 
• Don’t hold a grudge if one or two accusations hurt you personally. During puberty, teenagers simply can’t control their emotions and react impulsively. Therefore, your child often doesn’t mean what they say at first glance.
• Despite their growing independence, set clear rules and boundaries. Allow your child to test your limits. This is important and is part of the process of becoming independent as they grow into adulthood. 
• Above all: Stay in touch with your child. Keep offering to talk. Your daughter and son still need you, even if no teenager in the world would ever admit it. Even if your child turns down the conversation several times, they should know that you’re there when it matters. 
• To get through this challenging time, it helps for moms and dads to remember their own adolescence: Do you remember how you felt back then? These thoughts will surely help you put yourself in your child’s shoes. And even if it hurts to see your growing child going their own way more and more often, celebrate the newfound freedom you have as parents. This gives you space for your own plans and hobbies—things you probably haven’t had time for in many years.